I remember a high school teacher helping me put the idea of poetry into perspective:
"You say you don't like poetry, but you like music? Take a poem and add a rhythm or beat and what do you have? Rap. Take that and add a melody and harmony and what do you have? A song. You like poetry without even realizing it."
Dude, this is SO GOOD. That sense of not having a place for the anger, fear, and pain to go is prevalent in a number of men I know, and the relationships and constructive/creative outlets required to dull the edge of extremism have dwindled dramatically. In my context poetry is more of a hard sell, but music is easier; I'm a part of a group where we listen to full albums together, and an open mic with a few friends. I think they really work well in enabling the men who attend to express their feelings.
I think too how important physicality is to dulling that edge - in observing the lives of the more stable men I know, I see them involved in sports, hunting, farming, home repair, etc. Those tethers offer relational connection as well as physical interaction with the world, and they satisfy something collaborative to poetry, pushing them to deeper interaction with our world. Poetry has a place in capturing those activities too, especially if it is simple and straightforward.
Not to mention there's probably something biological to it. I am not now and have never been a man, but I have noticed my anger issues get worse when I'm not exercising regularly.
The academic journal piece I referenced from Furhman and Dill does talk about using music and musical lyrics as a stepping stone for men who are resistant to "poetry" proper.
I really enjoyed this - so true! I have often thought of David, a king and warrior who was pretty manly and even did some pretty cringy violent stuff in his role. Yet it amazes me how emotionally in tune he was with himself, internally aware, and unashamed to cry out to God in the rawness of the Psalms. So often in our culture, in a way I feel like I often meet only two types of men: the manly men who can fix your car and frame the house but don't like to talk about feelings, and those who would be considered a little "softer" - more the artists and what-nots. It seems hard to find an even mix as I feel David was. I think your article offers some valid points and explanations for some of these traits. I think we've lost a lot of appreciation for poetry and fine language and expressing ourselves like they did once upon a time.
Forgive the quick response here. I need to read this again for some critical thoughts. But a lot resonates here. I went to a play at a high school with some friends last night and found myself sad that I didn't do that in high school. Acting, art, poetry: that's too vulnerable for a farmer's son. But I think about working-class men and their love of music. Here are some lyrics from Waylon Jennings, an outlaw, man's man, you name it:
This world that I live in is empty and cold. The loneliness cuts me and tortures my soul/ I'm no child of destiny and no fortune's son/ I've just chased you so long now I'm too weak to run /A new day is here but nothing is new alone in my room I tremble for you.
Singing is acceptable for "blue-collar working men" to share deep, vulnerable places. Nothing else. I find that strange.
Where would you recommend one start with poetry? I agree with this, but would love to hear what poets/poems you would recommend for someone wanting to dive in?
I remember a high school teacher helping me put the idea of poetry into perspective:
"You say you don't like poetry, but you like music? Take a poem and add a rhythm or beat and what do you have? Rap. Take that and add a melody and harmony and what do you have? A song. You like poetry without even realizing it."
Dude, this is SO GOOD. That sense of not having a place for the anger, fear, and pain to go is prevalent in a number of men I know, and the relationships and constructive/creative outlets required to dull the edge of extremism have dwindled dramatically. In my context poetry is more of a hard sell, but music is easier; I'm a part of a group where we listen to full albums together, and an open mic with a few friends. I think they really work well in enabling the men who attend to express their feelings.
I think too how important physicality is to dulling that edge - in observing the lives of the more stable men I know, I see them involved in sports, hunting, farming, home repair, etc. Those tethers offer relational connection as well as physical interaction with the world, and they satisfy something collaborative to poetry, pushing them to deeper interaction with our world. Poetry has a place in capturing those activities too, especially if it is simple and straightforward.
Not to mention there's probably something biological to it. I am not now and have never been a man, but I have noticed my anger issues get worse when I'm not exercising regularly.
The academic journal piece I referenced from Furhman and Dill does talk about using music and musical lyrics as a stepping stone for men who are resistant to "poetry" proper.
I really enjoyed this - so true! I have often thought of David, a king and warrior who was pretty manly and even did some pretty cringy violent stuff in his role. Yet it amazes me how emotionally in tune he was with himself, internally aware, and unashamed to cry out to God in the rawness of the Psalms. So often in our culture, in a way I feel like I often meet only two types of men: the manly men who can fix your car and frame the house but don't like to talk about feelings, and those who would be considered a little "softer" - more the artists and what-nots. It seems hard to find an even mix as I feel David was. I think your article offers some valid points and explanations for some of these traits. I think we've lost a lot of appreciation for poetry and fine language and expressing ourselves like they did once upon a time.
Chris,
Forgive the quick response here. I need to read this again for some critical thoughts. But a lot resonates here. I went to a play at a high school with some friends last night and found myself sad that I didn't do that in high school. Acting, art, poetry: that's too vulnerable for a farmer's son. But I think about working-class men and their love of music. Here are some lyrics from Waylon Jennings, an outlaw, man's man, you name it:
This world that I live in is empty and cold. The loneliness cuts me and tortures my soul/ I'm no child of destiny and no fortune's son/ I've just chased you so long now I'm too weak to run /A new day is here but nothing is new alone in my room I tremble for you.
Singing is acceptable for "blue-collar working men" to share deep, vulnerable places. Nothing else. I find that strange.
Ironically lyrics are also poetry 🙂
Where would you recommend one start with poetry? I agree with this, but would love to hear what poets/poems you would recommend for someone wanting to dive in?
Oh man, so many directions to go. I'd say maybe start with some modern poets like David Whyte, Wendell Berry, Billy Collins, and Mary Oliver.
Love this, Chris, and YES!
This is so well- articulated and an incredible call to action 🙏🔥
Thanks!